Bag of 400 IKEA tealights feels its moment is near

A BAG of 400 tealights from IKEA, bought in 2008 and languishing under the sink ever since, feels its moment of glory has finally come around.

The tealights, bought because they were unbelievably cheap, have seen little action in the last 14 years but are very excited to have heard about the energy crisis.

Upcoming three-hour blackouts mean the tealights, previously used one at a time for Halloween pumpkins, now expect to be placed gaily all around the house.

No longer a forgotten purchase, the tealights will become the sole sources of light for families to read by, to play boardgames by, to laugh and to love together and will be remembered fondly for years to come.

The Winter of the Tealights draws near, and those that have patiently waited out their confinement will see their time to shine.

Homeowner Susan Traherne said: “Apparently there are blackouts coming. I’ve gone online and ordered a shitload of scented candles.”